Dumb.

It's torturing you. And you still do it.
It makes you cry. And you still do it.
It's doomed to be futile. And you still do it.
It's not going to bother him. And you still do it.
It's uncertain if he is ever touched. And you still do it.
It's hardly improving. And you still do it.
It's heartbreaking. And you do it.
It's the Universe's dumbest thing. And you still do it.

Why?

It's senseless. Stupid. Dumb.
To pursue something that you find imperative.
But he does not think so.

So it's your fault for being too sensitive. Too emotional.
Why can't you just give up?
Because it's too hard to swallow?
Or it's difficult to accept the fact?